204: How to turn a Conversation into a Mutually Beneficial Opportunity

Let me tell you about the best possible problem to have in your job search.

You know exactly what you want in your next role.

You know the priorities you are looking for in your future employer.

You’ve developed some warm introductions and relationships with individuals who work at an organization that intrigues you.

In fact, you’ve even spoken to several people who work there, and have validated that the company would be a fantastic fit for your strengths and your priorities. This would be a mutually beneficial opportunity for both parties. 

But then…what’s next?

How do you confidently evolve the relationship and open up an opportunity for yourself without feeling like a sleazy used car salesman?

If you’re lucky enough to be struggling with this exact dilemma, today’s episode of the Happen to Your Career Podcast is for you.

One of our Career Change Bootcamp students, Laura, sent us this question:

I’m really interested in a particular company and I’ve now spoken to four people who work there. I’ve gotten really good at being genuinely interested in learning about roles and companies without actually “asking” anything…But now I want the job… so how do I graciously and not awkwardly shift the conversation from tell me about what you do, to… you should hire me because?

Laura

Dimensionalizing your relationship with contacts at a company can take some elegance and finesse — you definitely don’t want to change the vibe from being “exploratory and chill” to “hungry and aggressive.”

You didn’t get your spouse to marry you by turning on the intense “lifelong commitment” conversation laser beams on date #2, did you?

Take the same approach in slowly and gracefully evolving your relationship with strategic contacts. Instead of putting desperate “hire me” energy out there, you want to treat them like a partner and trusted advisor.

Imagine how differently these two conversations feel:

“Hey Mike: I had a great time talking with you about your experience working at Facebook. But I’ll level with you: the only reason I’m actually here is to get a job. So, how do we make that happen?”

Versus:

“Hey Mike: I had a great time talking with you about your experience working at Facebook. Thanks again for making the time! Your candid perspective on the challenges of the work-life balance and how you’re able to make it work was incredibly helpful, and upon reflection, I could really see myself thriving in a work hard, play hard environment like that. One of the things I’ve gotten great at over the years is efficiently taking care of my stakeholders so they get what they need without my needing to be online 24/7. I’d love your perspective on what next steps I ought to take to make working at a great company like Facebook a possibility for me one day.”

Notice that there are such subtle differences in the approach, but each communication creates a different set of possibilities — and different likelihood that Mike is going to hook you up.

After all, everyone is willing to do more to help someone they know, like and trust than someone who rubs them the wrong way.

To break down what worked or didn’t work in the above mock conversations so you can replicate it for yourself, here are the key principles of deepening that conversation, along with some sample pieces of language straight from the episode that you can use to dimensionalize your relationship with a potential future employer and make it mutually beneficial for both of you:

LEAD WITH GRATITUDE:

“Hey I really appreciate you making the time for me the other day. I learned a lot about your role.”

FOLLOW-UP WITH A SPECIFIC COMPLIMENT THAT HIGHLIGHTS SHARED VALUES:

“I loved ABC about your organization.”

“I had a conversation with you a few days ago, and I enjoyed it and I can see working with you.”

“I really appreciate your sense of humor and how you talk about your employees and that clearly they matter to you. That shows and is a big deal to me too. I found myself realizing after I left the conversation that I would be excited to find out how I can work with you. Or at least exploring what that can look like.”

TREAT THEM LIKE A PARTNER IN YOUR MISSION TO FIND AN OPPORTUNITY THAT FITS:

“I know you have roles open now. I don’t know if they are a perfect fit but I’d love to ask your advice. After meeting me and understanding what I’m after and great at, I’d love your perspective about what I should do if I want to work with you. I think it would be a ton of fun on your team and what you have lines up with what I’m looking for, which is ABC.”

“What do you believe I should do here? How do you think that could look?”

“From your position, I know you have roles open and I’m really interested working with you and your company. I was coming into the conversations trying to figure out what would be a great fit for me, and I am enamored at this point and I think it would be a ton of fun to work here. What advice would you give me? How could it be possible?”

AFFIRM YOU HEARD WHAT THEY NEED AND CONFIRM YOUR PAST EXPERIENCES THAT SHOW YOU CAN HELP:

“One of the things I did in my past roles I absolutely loved was being able to take the customer situations and turn them around to double our revenue with those particular other customer organizations. I love that, it sounds like what I would be doing, and it was one of the most fun parts of my job.”

CLOSE POWERFULLY:

“Let me know what you think. I’m looking forward to hearing your perspective.”

“Thanks in advance for your advice — would love to know your thoughts!”

Want to ask a question and be featured in a future podcast episode? Record your question at Happentoyourcareer.com/vm

Curious about our flagship program that’s helped hundreds of people just like you to clarify what you want in your work, and equip you with the tools and tactics to get it? Check out Career Change Bootcamp at Happentoyourcareer.com/lp/career-change-bootcamp/

Listen to our podcast episode on communicating effectively and with confidence with The Art of Charm’s AJ Harbinger at Happentoyourcareer.com/what-brene-brown-and-the-art-of-charm-have-in-common/

Ready to find the work that fits you? Go to FigureItOut.co to get started.